Heh, seeing as how I'll be a SharePoint MVP again this year, and this is a dead board, you got lucky
That said, research IIS bindings AND Alternate Access Mappings. These are the primary methods for managing domains (and subdomains) for sites. So, if you build a web app, you can use the servername and a random port (I'd recommend just building it on port 80 and with the FQDN right off the bat if you haven't already built it) and create an alternate access mapping in the required zone (which seems likely to be "Internet" here) using the subdomain.
SharePoint is a pain in the ass, but quite robust once you understand its quirks. Just be aware, it's a MASSIVE pain in the ass to maintain and keep patched, especially for externally facing sites. I'd highly recommend you put this being a firewall/reverse proxy and keep the SQL Server (Do NOT use the MSDE at all, ever) at a layer below your DMZ.
With regards to the redirect, you can create a redirect page within Sharepoint at the site collection level, so just do that with the /remote path. Easy as pie.