Found an
amusing site that pokes fun of those informercials we've come to love (and hate) over the years.
Some favorites:
Dual Action Cleanse with Klee Irwin
Quote:
An example of what goes on in this infomercial can be seen when they take the call of a man named Gary who says, "I just don't feel perfect…I feel like something is missing. Do you think this product could help me?"
To which Klee replies, "Gary, let me ask you a question: Do you have kids?"
"...Yes," Gary responds suspiciously.
Klee then asks the question on everyone's mind, "Are your bowel movements the same size and length as theirs are?"
"Absolutely not!" Gary says with conviction.
If this guy is going around measuring and weighing his kids' stools then perhaps he has more serious problems than the state of his colon.
Juiceman II
Quote:
How the Juiceman Stays Juiced
And apparently watermelon is not the only plant with nearly preternatural powers. Jay claims that "if you want to get real high" you need only to drink a glass of straight parsley juice. "It'll be the highest high you've ever had in your life." And the only side effect will be that "It'll put you in the restroom and you won't come out for 7 days."
Miss Cleo
Quote:
In any case, listening to how Miss Cleo interacts with the callers reveals the technique behind her "readings:"
1. Miss Cleo will say that "someting" happened a few weeks or months ago, the number usually suggested by one of the tarot cards. ("About 10 months ago according to the 10 of cups there must have been some event.") Or she will throw out a vague description of a person supposedly in the caller's life. ("top-heavy woman," "short, stocky man")
2. The caller will politely tell Cleo that the incident or person she mentioned doesn't ring a bell. At which point Cleo will berate the caller, insisting that the caller knows exactly what she is talking about.
3. The caller will rack his or her brain trying to think of an event or person that might fit the description. Eventually the caller will come up with some minor occurrence or distant acquaintance that faintly fits the description and will hesitantly ask Miss Cleo if she was referring to that.
4. Miss Cleo will then crow that she was right all along and tell the caller never to question the greatness of her clairvoyant powers.
