Amusing Proverbs

Fools rush in where fools have been before.

To avoid duplication, make three copies.

It's called "take home" pay because you can't afford to go anywhere else with it.

Success is relative—the greater the success, the more relatives.

Anyone can be a winner—unless, of course, there's a second entry.

The slower you work, the fewer mistakes you make.

If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.

If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

You must have learned from others' mistakes. You haven't had time to think all those up yourself.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

People like criticism—just keep it positive and flattering.

It's OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.

Worry kills more people than work because more people worry than work.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

When you're getting kicked from behind, that means you're in front.

Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

The real reason you can't take it with you is that it goes before you do.

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

The world is full of willing people—some willing to work and some willing to let them.

Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done.

A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Most people deserve each other.

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.

The gifts you buy your spouse are never as good and apropos as the gifts your neighbor buys their spouse.

Never get overly excited about a man/woman by just the way they look from behind.

If you help a relative in need they will remember you the next time they are in need.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.