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funnies
http://www.lanysboard.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1287		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  sasafrasstea [ Thu Jan 26, 2006 5:59 AM ]
Post subject:  funnies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.<
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Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What<
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setting do I use on the washing machine?"<
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<
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<
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"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"<
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<
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<
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He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."<
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<
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<
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And they say blondes are dumb...<
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<
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********************************************************<
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<
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<
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest<
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woman in the world."<
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<
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The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."<
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<
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<
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****************************************************************************<
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***********************<
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<
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of<
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the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed<
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the lawn like this?"<
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<
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<
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"Probably that I married you for your money," she! replied.<
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<
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*********************************************<
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<
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<
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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good<
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idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.<
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<
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*********************************************<
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<
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<
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?<
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<
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A: A rumor<
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<
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*************************************************<
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<
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<
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were cele
ating their 40th wedding<
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anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that<
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because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The<
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wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.<
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<
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<
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Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.<
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<
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<
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The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...<
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Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!<
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<
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**********************************************<
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<
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<
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A PRAYER....<
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<
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<
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Dear Lord,<
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<
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<
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I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;<
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<
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<
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Love to forgive him;<
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<
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<
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And Patience for his moods.<
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<
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<
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Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,<
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<
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<
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I'll beat him to death.<
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<
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<
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AMEN<
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<
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**********************************************<
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<
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<
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Q: Why do little boys whine?<
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<
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A: They are practicing to be men.<
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<
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<
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?<
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<
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A: Trustworthy.<
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<
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<
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
eath and<
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calling your name?<
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<
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A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.<
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<
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<
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Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?<
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<
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A: To stop the snoring before it starts.<
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<
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<
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?<
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<
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A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.<
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<
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<
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Q: What is the difference between men and women?<
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<
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A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman<
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to satisfy his one need.<
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<
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<
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?<
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<
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A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals" <i></i>
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