One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.<
>
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What<
>
setting do I use on the washing machine?"<
>
<
>
<
>
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"<
>
<
>
<
>
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."<
>
<
>
<
>
And they say blondes are dumb...<
>
<
>
********************************************************<
>
<
>
<
>
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest<
>
woman in the world."<
>
<
>
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."<
>
<
>
<
>
****************************************************************************<
>
***********************<
>
<
>
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of<
>
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed<
>
the lawn like this?"<
>
<
>
<
>
"Probably that I married you for your money," she! replied.<
>
<
>
*********************************************<
>
<
>
<
>
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good<
>
idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.<
>
<
>
*********************************************<
>
<
>
<
>
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?<
>
<
>
A: A rumor<
>
<
>
*************************************************<
>
<
>
<
>
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were cele
ating their 40th wedding<
>
anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that<
>
because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The<
>
wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.<
>
<
>
<
>
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.<
>
<
>
<
>
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...<
>
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!<
>
<
>
**********************************************<
>
<
>
<
>
A PRAYER....<
>
<
>
<
>
Dear Lord,<
>
<
>
<
>
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;<
>
<
>
<
>
Love to forgive him;<
>
<
>
<
>
And Patience for his moods.<
>
<
>
<
>
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,<
>
<
>
<
>
I'll beat him to death.<
>
<
>
<
>
AMEN<
>
<
>
**********************************************<
>
<
>
<
>
Q: Why do little boys whine?<
>
<
>
A: They are practicing to be men.<
>
<
>
<
>
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?<
>
<
>
A: Trustworthy.<
>
<
>
<
>
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
eath and<
>
calling your name?<
>
<
>
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.<
>
<
>
<
>
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?<
>
<
>
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.<
>
<
>
<
>
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?<
>
<
>
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.<
>
<
>
<
>
Q: What is the difference between men and women?<
>
<
>
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman<
>
to satisfy his one need.<
>
<
>
<
>
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?<
>
<
>
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals" <i></i>