Unfortunately, this is not an April Fools Day prank, just a member of Congress acting hilariously aloof. After debating the exact size of Guam for a full minute with a military commander before concluding that it is "a small island," U.S. Representative Hank Johnson reveals his fear: that more U.S. troops will cause Guam to "tip over" and sink into the ocean.

The best part of hearing Johnson say, "My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize," is hearing the commander try to explain why it's probably -- no, definitely -- not going to happen.

[UPDATE: "I wasn't suggesting that the island of Guam would literally tip over," Johnson says via a spokesman. "I was using a metaphor to say that with the addition of 8,000 Marines and their dependents -- an additional 80,000 people during peak construction to the port on the tiny island with a population of 180,000 -- could be a tipping point which would adversely affect the island's fragile ecosystem and overburden its already overstressed infrastructure.

"Having traveled to Guam last year, I saw firsthand how this beautiful -- but vulnerable island -- is already overburdened, and I was simply voicing my concerns that the addition of that many people could tip the delicate balance and do harm to Guam."]

Hurr hurr funny guy.