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A) the punishment being given by your ex is not as severe as you think. If things like no tv for a week aren't particularly important to her, the punishment would be ineffective. My daughter wouldn't bat an eye at that one.
It may not be severe at her house, because my daughter has an entire room to herself with toys strewn across every inch of the floor to play with. At my house, we have books to read, coloring books, and very few toys. We watch a lot of movies together as well because she enjoys that. So this full week when she is with me I'm supposed to bend over for my ex and let her control the time I have with my daughter? That doesn't seem right to me. I want to work as a team with her but I don't think she really cares about that, so why should I have to continue with the punishment she gave our daughter? Should I?
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or B) It's a ploy for attention. I know children who are largely ignored by their parents and they act out simply to make their parents interact with them on any level.
I think this is a big part of it. Even when my ex has her, she is largely ignored, sent to play in her room or watch movies by herself because her mom is just "too busy". I don't know what goes on there except from what my daughter and ex tell me, and while I do realize that my ex is pretty busy, I don't think she takes advantage of the time she has with our daughter.
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I believe it is part of them growing up and seeing what they can get away with, I also think that there is some diffrent type of dynamic between a mother and dauter, because I know that my girls dont act the same when she is around as when its just me.
I get that, and she's definitely not perfect for me either.
She's a kid (which I have to remind my ex of constantly), how can I expect her to be. She's also VERY excitable and loves to explore, so I've figured out how to work around that in most situations.
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Hang in there only 14 more years till she is 18
Oh I'm not worried about my daughter, I'm worried about having to deal with my ex for those years. ARGH!
Our parenting methods are just so different, and whenever I try to talk to her about things (NOT calling her out or telling her she's doing something wrong) she gets defensive and personally attacks me. It's very grating and I know I let it get to me more than it should but she just knows every button to push. I don't push back because I'm worried that she may take my daughter away (or try) and that's a terrible fear to live under.