Why is this in the news so much? This is NOT NEWS. Please cover something I care about. A car accident and (maybe) a small domestic dispute should not be occupying this kind of news time.

tiger who?

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Jake Rivers - Senex Legio
Get off my Lawn alliance

Because Tiger Woods is not a normal person, like you and I. He is a celebrity. And thus, everything that a celebrity does gets magnified 100x in the public spotlight. And considering that (up to this point) Tiger Woods has never been in trouble with anything at all -profanity on the golf course does not count- the fact that something bad happened to an almost "angel" makes for celebrity news.

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A celeb in the news. It's just the way the world works. Welcome to it.

Because his wife didn't "free" him from the vehicle with a golf club, she chased after him and busted out his windshield because she was pissed!

They allegedly have been fighting because he's been seeing some woman from New York behind his wife's back.

Allegedly, but that makes a lot more sense. Especially with the fact he doesn't want to talk to the police or media about this, and the ridiculous story that his wife freed him from his car after a fender bender.

Yeah, I find it so funny to hear the news people speculate about what she was doing with the golf club, "She was trying to save him with a golf club!!!" Yeah... more like, trying to kill him.

Anyway, amusing news. =x

Much better than constant swine flu updates.

love the simple change:

Tiger taught his wife to hit like a pro with a 7-iron.
-to-
Tiger taught his wife to like hit a pro with a 7-iron.

I am in the who cares "club"

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Devil

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for the night.
Set a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Yeah, but you're an idiot.

Only smart people read (celeb)tabloids.

LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

Hell, I know I feel like a more complete human being when I know what Megan Fox had for breakfast this morning. It's about as mentally enthralling as digging out my daily horoscope.

It is true.

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What did Megan Fox have for breakfast this morning?

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It's sad to see a comparison of the likes of Megan Fox or even Britney Spears to a guy like Tiger Woods.

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Kuwen Furyblades
Hunter of Memento Reejeryn
Champion of Faydark

Why, because Tiger Woods is special? Or has a better talent than Britney or Megan?

He's still a celebrity.

Police: There is no evidence of spousal abuse.
Media: There's not enough evidence for a case of spousal abuse.

Fuck you "News"

If you want to call him a celebrity fine, but yes his talent is orders of magnitude greater than the company he was mentioned with.

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Kuwen Furyblades
Hunter of Memento Reejeryn
Champion of Faydark

He's a brand just like one of the other two mentioned. He's not really that different.

Indeed. I guess you could say I was drawing a particular comparison as to the fact that many dumb(or maybe shallow is more accurate, though that often tends to accompany a lack of intelligence) people keep close tabs on the everyday lives of celebs... but I'd fail to see how pointing to one similiarity is a comparison of the total character of each. Feel free to fill me in on that one.

I don't mind a bit that this trash is on E! or TMZ or whatever. Then again, I also don't necessarily blame the major news media for showing people precisely what they ask to see on the news.

I would rather hear about celebrities than more murder/rape/child abductions.

incoming Tiger jokes:

* Apparently, the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said, “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.”

* What is the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

* What was Elin doing out at 2:30 in the morning? Clubbing!

* Why did Tiger hit a fire hydrant and a tree? Couldn't decide between a wood or an iron.

* Golf question: What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.

* Let me get this right, Tiger drives very good in the in the fairway but doesn't fare very good in the driveway.

* It turns out that fixing Tiger's game and his marriage both require the same thing - better control of his putts.

* Why was Tiger's wife mad at him? She heard he played around in Australia.

*Tiger is looking for a new driver -- one for the Cadillac and one to replace the one his wife wrapped around his head.

* I hear that Tiger is changing his nickname, he is still keeping it in the cat family - Cheetah.

* Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere.

* Elin Woods has a twin sister named Josephine. Know how to tell them apart? Elin is the one holding the bent 5 iron.

* What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They both have been clubbed by a Norwegian.

(thanks to Zippy the Clown on KTCK The Ticket in Dallas. Listen to this on the Un-Ticket here)

Ouch.

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I don't see why he waited so long to just admit he cheated. It only made the spotlight brighter.

sigh, no comments on the jokes...

Jokes were hilarious, but I didn't want to type "haha" as a response.

You also must be blocking Joxur apparently.

yea, some were pretty good

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops at three ho's.

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...

Thanks Jay Leno.

Tiger's favorite snack? Hoho's

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would
keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

Tigers Christmas Card

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Devil

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for the night.
Set a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.

My favorite is when some holier-than-thou journalists will start berating us as a whole for "feeding on celebrity misery" and crap and saying things like, "Why can't we just look away."

I'd love to look away! I never go looking for this shit, but every time I turn on the TV or radio or go on the internet there's 50 media outlets saying, "ZOMG TIGER TIGER TIGER"

A recent cover of Newsweek magazine particularly pissed me off. But oh well.

Well, they might not be talking about you specifically, but there's still a pretty damned large portion of the population that keeps on watching the stupid shit... which... /drumroll... keeps the ratings up and tells the producers what people want to see. I mean, celeb magazines and other crap sell for a reason. People are interested in this crap.

TMZ
World's dumbest _____
Entertainment tonight
Jackass
Cops
car chase shows
Talk soup
Ow my balls

all designed to capture the attention of the simpleton in everyone