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I hate them. There, I said it. Oh, to the days of the women that played on Lanys – wherefore art thou? It seems like chicks that play mmo’s, mostly WoW of late, are broken down into one of several categories.
1) Cutesy girly girl: These bitches post apps on guild forums with references to HAPPY PILLS or some other bullshit that is intended to endear male players to them. They post in guild chat constantly in some kind of fucking code-word language that I can’t understand. Requirements are to reference bunnies, kitties or cookies, CONSTANTLY. When they get on a raid, they are dead last in effectiveness or spam raid chat with stupid comments. They die while running back from a wipe because they can’t follow everyone else down the left hallway instead of the right hallway. You know this girl - she's the one constantly emoting in Dalaran at the bank, hugging, smooching and generally using whatever retarded emote mmo-makers put in just for them.
2) The theorycrafting keyboard turner: The worst of the lot. A cruel joke. These gals think they know more about WoW than you. But they don’t. They may tell you that exorcism is a good paladin taunt, and when you wonder why they can’t pick up mobs with fucking consecration, you realize that they are, in fact, keyboard turners. They don’t take suggestions, they get mad when you give away their spot, and yet, when you finally, eventually replace them, you kill the boss that required their contribution (read: a paladin on tidewalker) on the first shot.
3) The bottom feeder: We all have them. These might be cool people but when it comes to playing their class, they’re just a C player, or maybe worse. They’re at the bottom of every contribution gauge, whether it’s meters or just the intangible knowledge that if you are going for a hard mode achievement, DON’T BRING THEM. These are also the people who always stand in the fire, and when it’s their turn to kill spirits during Teron Gorefiend, it’s a certain wipe. That sinking feeling when you see their name pop up in DBM. The one you want to tell to just sit down in the hallway while you kill the boss. They can look at wws reports and can’t seem to figure out why their dps is HALF the other person of the same class and spec, with equal gear. The A team wonders how the fucking hell this person can keep getting a raid spot. Eventually, this person is forced out of the guild, but only after much drama and gnashing of teeth. Perhaps a post on the guild boards about “calling them out”, as if calling you out is worse than you wasting 4 hours of my fucking life every night with your awful failure.
4) The casual drama queen: These are the chicks who only play when they want to – and how dare you suggest we log on for a Sunday raid to progress? Why, I joined this guild to hang out with my friends and I’m going to hold you and everyone else hostage to my mega-huge vagina.
You playing this game alongside me is not a blessing for me. It’s not a privilege to play with you. The fact that you’re one of the few women that play an mmo does not entitle you to be a shitty player that we all just roll our eyes and tolerate. Fuck you, WoW girl!
This is meant as a tongue in cheek post, though there’s some truth to each example, heh.
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The flood of tells afterwards, even funnier.
