Wizardly wrote:
In the brief time we were together we had alootttt of unprotected sex.
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Firstly, and significantly, she is fucking hot, and she begged for it.
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Secondly, she has some very serious health issues, for which she takes very large doses of painkillers, and I was assured that she was unable to conceive. It seems she is able to conceive after all.
Amaaaaazing what the human body can do . . . when it is designed to do it! Unless . . . her child is . . . JESUS?!!!
Right. I am sure you will get enough people telling you you were foolish--HERE and from family and friends. Just understand and
accept that she, literally, planned to fuck you. Serve as an example for others to learn from. You are not the first; you will not be the last.
Having made a mistake others have made, you need to try to
avoid making
further mistakes many have then made.
Fine, now you need to
protect yourself. First, you need to stop with this delusion:
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. . . since I seriously doubt she can carry the child to term with her health problems.
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I need advice.
Indeed you do. However, you need to get it from those who have experience in this matter, not from friends, family, and anonymous internet posters. They can give you emotional support which
is helpful, but it will not solve you problems. Right now, your concern should be protecting yourself from further damage--REAL damage--financial as well as emotional.
To be frank, you will get better
emotional support from those who have experience in your problem and can give you
practical advice rather than "support" or "insults."
Where to get this advice?
Now, you make it fast and painful by, say, calling
Tom Lykis, who after laughing at you will inform you you have joined the ranks of a lot of men who have thought with their "lower brains" and are in these bad situations. You may wish to listen to his show anyways to learn how guys do this all the time and what happens to them when they do not take it seriously.
He can then tell you whom to talk to, such as in organizations. He may even be very nice to you. Since you probably do not wish to serves as anonymous entertainment across the national airwaves, what you do next requires a
lot of "leg work" on your part since it depends on where you live, as in the laws of your state.
Which means you need to speak with a lawyer.
Which means you need to speak with a lawyer.
Let me repeat that:
You NEED to speak with a LAWYER.
Yes, that will cost money. Yes, that is painful, but you have to compare that to what is going to happen if you sit their at the mercy of this girl. Is she pregnant? Will she seek financial support from you? What are your rights? You need not only answers to that but
how to get them and
how to protect yourselves.
So how do you find a lawyer and organizations that can help you? You can "Google" it, but as this review notes--
Expert Lawin its criticism of "father's rights lawyers," some lawyers advertise themselves "father's rights lawyers" just to attract clients. You need to find someone who actually
knows the law in this area and/or knows lawyers who do who
can help you.
For example, this site gives you some useful information on the law and recommends lawyers in various states:
LawInfo. Of course, how they get those lawyers is the question: are they qualified or do they just pay the fees to be linked? These sort of things you need to find out.
Since you do
not want to give out personal information on the internet, you are going to have to do this yourself, or PM
Tarot with a location and age, and mention this thread. There are some people who might be able to point you in a direction. Otherwise, you need to start looking in your area for support groups and get their suggestions.
The benefits are potentially very great. You will feel a
lot better if you are given the name of a person who is interested in your problem, has dealt with such, and is happy to help you rather than take your money.
Now, this has nothing to do with "avoiding responsibility" or any of that. I am not going to comment on what "you should do" regarding potential fatherhood. However, whatever you
think is the right answer to that, you need to talk with people with real experience in this problem who can discuss the
real implications of such.
Finally, I would cease communicating with this woman NOW. Find a source of advice first, THIS WEEK, then you will be told how she may be allowed to communicate with you. You are her chew toy WHATEVER is the "truth" of the situation. She can call and bat you about and emotionally torture you as she clearly has. Time to put a stop to that.
Best of luck.
--J.D.