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How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
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Author:  CakvalaSC [ Fri Jan 19, 2007 1:37 PM ]
Post subject: 
I had a rainbow one.. it fell off when I was trying to get eight 5 year olds off my car.
Author:  xskycrasherx [ Fri Jan 19, 2007 1:48 PM ]
Post subject: 
:grin:
Author:  Sosk [ Sat Jan 20, 2007 11:12 PM ]
Post subject: 
This might be the best thread I have ever read on the internet.
Author:  Sosk [ Sat Jan 20, 2007 11:33 PM ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I had a rainbow one.. it fell off when I was trying to get eight 5 year olds off my car.


And Cak wins...
Author:  Tranthas [ Sun Jan 21, 2007 6:16 AM ]
Post subject:  I'm flattered.
Okay, Cak wins -- but I want bonus points for inciting a retired RotA to create an account just to deliver an argument that never arrived.
Author:  Sosk [ Sun Jan 21, 2007 2:24 PM ]
Post subject: 
So I spent a lot of time thinking about this over the last 14ish hours.

My take on it is motivation. Let's say the kids are all chinese kids (a country famous for population control) and are told that this excercise is to decide which of them get to continue living. The motivation being that the person in the center needs to be taken out and any of the kids still standing at the end get to continue living. In a situation like that I think I could take about 10 kids out at once, but not much more then that. I'm a stout 5'10" 200 pound guy in decent shape. I did all kinds of sports in highschool etc. But I think with the right motivation anymore then 10 kids would swarm. The assumption that kids are just dumb is off. They would figure out how to get you down and I don't care how big or badass you are, 25 little motivated monsters would be able to swarm you over. Lets say they all weigh 40 pounds. How many people can sustain holding 1000 pounds of biting clawing kicking screaming kids? Not anyone I know.

I see your point bello with your training and all, but as the carnage piles up in front of you and kids start throwing themselves at you your bound to trip or fall and then its on like donkey kong.

Honestly I'd pick bello over 10 adults before Id pick him over 25 kids. Kids just don't have the same fear built into them yet and the little buggers are indestructable.

Just my thoughts. I'll claim 10, max 15...then I'd be owned. I can definitely take more then Cak though :).
Author:  Grrunt [ Mon Jan 29, 2007 6:02 PM ]
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I finally stumbled across this most entertaining thread and I too had to ponder it. Having 3 boys of my own, 5 ,3, .8 I considered to more aspects.

1 ,,,, those kids have HARD heads! It would only take one well placed head but to the bridge of the nose....... Trust me.... that hurts!

2ndly .... only so many can get to you at once so there would be a limited number and past that is irrelevant.

Thanks for the interesting diversion
Author:  hhug [ Tue Jan 30, 2007 4:57 AM ]
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My only concern on this whole threat is that I HOPE cak was trying to get the kids OFF his car, and not into it :(
Author:  Sosk [ Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:12 PM ]
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hahahah Hhug just beat cak :)
Author:  Neesha the Necro [ Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:45 PM ]
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Yes, because all homosexuals want to abduct little kids.
Author:  xskycrasherx [ Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:54 PM ]
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There was a creepy man trying to coax little children into his car by my daughters elementary school the other day. This is surprising, because we live in an upscale part of the neighborhood.

I bet he was gay though. Only gay people want to abduct little kids.
Author:  CakvalaSC [ Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:36 PM ]
Post subject: 
hhug wrote:
My only concern on this whole threat is that I HOPE cak was trying to get the kids OFF his car, and not into it :(


No, No, No... I prefer the 21+ plus tight bodied swimmers from Yale.
Author:  Khaless [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 10:48 AM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Found this and remembered this thread :D

http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/
Author:  Tarot [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 4:56 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Image

I think it's a little over ambitious though. EDIT: Oops I thought the graphic had the number. It said I could take out 30. No way.
Author:  Syuni D'zpecyzczn [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 5:42 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Rated me at 35. Let us join forces and eliminate 5 year olds worldwide!
Author:  Rileigh [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:13 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Tarot wrote:
Image

I think it's a little over ambitious though. EDIT: Oops I thought the graphic had the number. It said I could take out 30. No way.


I got 30 too.
Author:  Nibl [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:56 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
it gave me 25 but i'm sure if i had access to my famous bo staff it would be no contest.
Author:  DraagunSoulstealer [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:01 AM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Mine said 26 but I'm pretty out of shape, so it might be less. I think with a little training though, the sky would be the limit.
Author:  Tarot [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:17 AM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
I got 30 because it didn't take my wrist into account. With my new zombie powers...I would eat all their brains.


BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS
Author:  varanlorax [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:21 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
What do Vegan Zombies eat?

Graaaaaaaaaains
Author:  DraagunSoulstealer [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:52 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
/groan
Author:  noojens [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:41 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
33 unh.

"Have you ever been trampled? (By a horse, or at a rock concert)"
Author:  Mirramai [ Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:18 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Apparently I can take 28. I think it's a little generous, but I'll take it.
Author:  Garborg [ Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:43 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
I don't like this thought experiment. Because to push your win limit you'd have to be going all out ape-shit on each individual kid... most probably not just knocking them out but out-right killing them.
Author:  Furcifer [ Tue Aug 19, 2008 8:18 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/08/19/how-to-win-a-fight-against-twenty-children/

Quote:
I’m not going to ask why you’re fighting twenty children. That’s your own business, although most reasons are as old as time itself:

1) They started it.
2) You flipped over the table while losing a Magic: The Gathering game, and damaged several rare cards.
3) They stole your woman.
4) You stole their woman.
5) You’ve had enough of their bullshit.

Whether you’re a good man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or a dangerous maniac, we here at Cracked want to help. That’s why we’ve consulted with the experts (who did not wish to be named) on how to maximize your odds of winning a fight against twenty children. Follow these guidelines, and your opponents will wish they were never born 6 or 7 years ago.
Author:  Orme, a Singing Bard [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 3:58 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
It rated me at 29. If you had a reasonable gap between yourself and the kids, I would think 40-50 would not be overly hard. I mean, I can run backward faster than any 5 year old can run forward - I think. So you keep distance and spread them some and pick em off slowly. The only problem would be as you got higher numbers, there woudln't be enough room to kite. I guess if they move in a perfect pack, it would be more difficult, but still doable.

God, I'm such a bard.
Author:  Bovinity Divinity [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:12 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Biggest problem, in my eyes, would be trying to do enough harm with any given attack to actually put someone out without committing to it so much that you just get swarmed by the rest.

Sure, you could just flail about and throw them around as they got close, but that's not going to put them out of commission. Punching such short things would probably be awkward and kicking isn't really an option for your average person. And unlike in the movies, just knocking someone down doesn't knock them out.

I'm still thinking the best bet is to just grab one and try to whack the others with him. =D
Author:  Tarot [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:05 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
How the fuck did it rate me higher than you Orme? I'm pretty sure you could down more of them than me. Especially since I couldn't run a marathon (like you) even if a pack of rabid wolves were on my heels.

Though, with quitting smoking I think I could take on a couple more of the little bastards! ;)
Author:  Orme, a Singing Bard [ Sun Aug 24, 2008 1:36 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Bovinity Divinity wrote:
Biggest problem, in my eyes, would be trying to do enough harm with any given attack to actually put someone out without committing to it so much that you just get swarmed by the rest.
{snip}
I'm still thinking the best bet is to just grab one and try to whack the others with him. =D
I don't think swinging one around would do it... I mean people are talking like they could pick up a kid and swing it like a 50 pound mace. It would be a lot harder than that.

Back to kiting - you really would just need to spread them out some, push a couple down - yeah you don't knock them out, but they get trampled some and others trip. Once you have them split, grab one by the hair as you're running and one punch to the face with them being dropped on their head should do it. That's a 10-15 second effort and you could still be moving, although it would slow you down. Secret is to not get bogged down in a swarm as you noted.

God, this is sick.
Author:  DraagunSoulstealer [ Sun Aug 24, 2008 2:30 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Kiting and kicking are the way to go... you can kick an 5 year old in the head a lot easier than bending over to punch them - and you are going to do more damage.

Steel toed boots are a must.
Author:  noojens [ Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:19 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Tough to run in steel-toed boots though! Maybe some light-weight track flats or baseball spikes; good traction plus you could probably gouge out some eyes if you kicked with the sole of your foot.
Author:  Tranthas [ Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:21 PM ]
Post subject:  Re: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
Eh. Probably not aiming at head if you're kiting. You need to use Newton's Law to accelerate yourself away from the pack and avoid becoming surrounded. Probably kicking straight into center of mass whenever you can.
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